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- Liz
It's gone on for four long weeks now. The boys used to like coming home from school. They would throw open the back door, drop their backpacks on the floor and head straight to the pantry for first dibs on snacks. Now they kick around outside in the driveway and in the backyard with the dogs until they can't hold out any longer and come inside what used to be our comfy home. Over the last month it's turned into a dusty and disarrayed house full of cardboard boxes, piles of things and paint smell. Various people come and go beginning early in the morning and today I answered the door in a short, purple, sleeveless nightgown with no bra and my hair was a bird's nest piled high on top of my head. All I needed were a few feathers for fluff for the full effect! I was a sight but the polite painters showed no fear, averted their eyes a little but otherwise acted just like they always do. The realtor says that the competition to our 40 year-old house is new builds so we need everything to look perfect. All bed linens must be white. All towels and shower curtains must be white. All the walls in the whole entire house must be one color, basically white with a tinge of gray. She has pointed out all kinds of small things that I never noticed before, like a little corner piece of the brick around a flower bed that is missing. It's close to the front door and there's never a second chance to make a first impression! We have had to remove half of the furniture and all the art on the walls so now there are only a few framed mirrors are still hanging. NO family photos out anywhere. The idea is to allow the potential buyers to imagine themselves living in the space. All the cabinets, closets and drawers are freshly painted and empty. We are going for the "no one lives here" look which is extremely challenging to actually live in for anyone but near impossible with four sons and three dogs who shed. I'm really hoping there are just a couple of quick showings and then a solid offer so we won't have to keep up the whiteness and have clothes in our closets again. Something cool did happen today. In the midst of clearing out old dusty boxes from the very back of my closet I discovered a real treasure I never knew I was in possession of all these years. It was the box where my mother had kept all of her "special" things like cards and letters from friends and family. Her passports and divorce decree was in there too, along with me and my brother's social security information. There were also blank greeting cards with sentiments she thought were funny but hadn't had a chance to send yet. Those are the best because she had a wicked sense of humor! I have a few boxes of my own special things in my closet and when I sift through the contents, which is not often, I get nostalgic and realize how good my life has been and how much we have lived. I'm also reminded that I have more years behind me than in front of me which makes me older but I'm still way too young to be old. My mom passed away in 1999, the same year Rafa and I were married. Her name was Liz and she would have been one of those fun, eccentric grandmas who rode around on her white Honda scooter wearing her fun purple "motorcycle shoes" with her purse bungee corded down on the back and wearing no helmet because she liked feeling the wind on her face and in her hair. (All of this is absolutely true by the way. Really.) Mom would have told imaginative yet slightly bizarre and disturbing tales to tell her grandchildren. This was a real talent for her! Her stories were full of colorful characters that usually had one outstanding and odd trait. I remember a character who showed up in her stories pretty regularly. He was an old man who had had a stroke that left the right side of his face droopy. His skin was heavy and all that drooping made his eyeball look like it was bulging out of his face. It was hard to understand him when he talked but when he got to drinking no one could understand a word. He would drink Jameson whisky and sing old Irish pub songs but no one sang along because nobody could understand him. I once saw a photo of her grandfather Pat and realized he was the inspiration for the droopy faced character. His eye did look like it was bulging out and everyone said he was a mean drunk. Her stories were never dull. This is why discovering her special box was like stumbling across a collection of the rarest of gold coins. It was full of short stories she had written. Some were handwritten on loose leaf paper, some written in spiral bound notebooks and some were typed on a real old-fashioned typewriter. I have not had time to read any of them since I'm busy making my house white and empty, but scanning the pages I can see that some of the dates go back to the late 70's when she would have been about 25 years-old. I can't wait to dive in.
- Adventure awaits.
When I tell anyone that I have started a blog, the next question is, 'What's it about?" I was not prepared the first time someone asked me this question and immediately regretted not having an elevator answer ready. "Me," I sheepishly replied and instantly recognizing how egocentric I must sound. "And my family,"I quickly added. "Oh," said my friend Kelly politely. I could tell she was thinking something along the lines of "...alrighty then!" I began trying to describe into words why I felt called to begin documenting this year of our lives.There have been a few especially significant years that stand out in our lives and I could see that 2025 was already shaping up to be one of them. 1999 - the year I graduated from college, we got married and grieved the loss of my mother to pancreatic cancer, in that order and all within the span of 4 months. Then we had four kids and it goes without saying how HUGE and HAPPY those events and years were for us! Rafa's father passed away unexpectedly in 2004, just four months after Travis was born but we are grateful he was able to meet his first grandson. 2016 - the year we moved from Houston to Austin after a tragic event. It ended up being the best choice we ever made! The weather, hills, creeks, lakes, rivers and parks have made for lots of outdoor adventures. I love that our boys grew up swimming and fishing in Barton Creek, riding bikes on trails and hiking in the hills. R became excellent at using his heavy duty magnet to find all kinds of treasures in creeks. M is part of a middle school biker gang of boys who ride all over the place, even where they're not supposed to, like downtown Austin. It was a smooth transition and good for the six of us. We also added two more dogs to the familia which somehow makes us feel complete. This year, 2025 - The twins are graduating from high school. T is going away to college, something that will likely be devastating for W since they have never been apart. Very soon we will be selling our house that we have loved for the last 9 years, moving out of state and begin making our lives in Colorado. Hopefully this is our last move. A new climate with a higher elevation awaits us which will take some getting used to. We still need to find a new home, new schools for M and W and set up services for our two guys with disabilities. We will need to learn how to navigate a new city, find new doctors and learn how to drive in snow and ice conditions with chains. Oh, and R is turning 21 which means he will have access to dispensaries and that could end up being an issue. While all this is happening, there is also the uncertainty (and chaos) that this new Trump administration has brought and what it could mean for our family. So far, none of it has been good and we are only a month in. For all these reasons, and the little voice in my head that sounds an awful lot like my mother's, I feel compelled to document it all. Hopefully someday we will look back in awe of ourselves, and not dismay, at everything we took on this year and how it all turns out. “We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us.” — Joseph Campbell
- Where do I begin?
I quickly begin feeling overwhelmed when I think about what to do next. I need a syllabus with chapters, dates and hard deadlines. Some post-its, highlighters and new binder with tabs would be helpful since that's how my GenX brain works best, with lots of office supplies. Moving in general is physically and emotionally draining anyway but relocating to another state is a whole new level of challenge. Our family of nine, okay it's really six humans and three dogs, has a lot of stuff. Where to start? When we put away Christmas a couple of weeks ago I knew it was the right time to sort and purge since it was our last Christmas in the house we've called home for 8 years. The kids aren't little anymore and not as attached and sentimental about all of the holiday decorations. The times of ceremoniously hanging the special ornaments are long gone and I mostly decorate the tree by myself these days. No one had the energy to do the organizing and purging properly and we ended up putting a holiday decoration smorgasbord inside each of the boxes and haphazardly returned them to the attic like always. We all seemed to be having feelings of lethargy mixed with procrastination that was obviously contagious. T has a terrible case of senioritis and it's everything he can do to just return to school for that one last class after lunch. College applications are done and he has acceptances but still waiting to hear from his top two choices before making a decision. His top choices are the same as mine and his dad's but ultimately we are letting him choose for himself where to go. I'm hoping we raised him well enough that he will consider the most important criteria for himself before making his final decision. There are other factors interfering with his best judgement so prayers for wisdom for T are welcome. T's twin brother W is also graduating this May. W has Down syndrome so his next steps are not as clear as T's. This is but one of the reasons we have decided to relocate out of state. Our eldest son is R, who is 20 years-old and kind of "stuck" right now. He's been trying out different paths and looking for the one that will lead him to employment, independence and ultimately feeling good about himself. R is a person with autism and also part of the reason we have decided that it's time to say adios to the Lone Star State. Finally there is M, our youngest son who is 12 going on 18 and in seventh grade. I guess this is what happens when you grow up with three older brothers and see/hear too much mature content. M is a cool kid with lots of interests. I'm hoping that changing schools after 7th grade won't be a tough transition for him. It helps that the school he will be going to is a junior high school instead of a middle school. It's smaller and has only 7th and 8th grades. None of us want to move. As much as we love Colorado, Texas is and has always been home and moving was never part of our plan. Rural acreage with big oaks in the quiet Hill Country with goats, chickens, a couple of donkeys and a miniature cow was the plan. To be honest I feel angry. Not sad. Not disappointed. Angry. I wish Texas cared about families like ours who have loved ones with disabilities. There is nothing here for them but decades long waiting lists for services and supports. Nothing is funded as it should be and there is always a risk of institutionalization. Rafa and I are no spring chickens either. We must live somewhere where we know our sons with disabilities will have access to medical care, housing, employment and be a part of the community. Soon we will finally be able to sleep at night knowing that no matter what happens to us or their brothers, W and R will be cared for and never und up in a closed setting or institution where abuse and other horrors are rampant. Colorado doesn't have institutions. Texas has 21. We are six native Texans heading west to Colorado. Not because we want to, but because the Texas legislature has left us with no other choice.
- Why the heck is Section 504 of the ADA suddenly on the chopping block?
The Capitol Crawl is one of the best examples of the power of the people and what an empowered collective voice and action can do to affect change. It's also one of my favorite acts of activism because not only was it brave and muy chingon, it was effective and we are still talking about it 36 years later. On March 12, 1990, over 1,000 people marched from the White House to the U.S. Capitol to demand that Congress pass the Americans with Disabilities Act, or ADA. When they got there, about 60 of the protesters threw themselves out of their wheelchairs and cast aside walkers and other mobility aids and dragged themselves up the Capitol steps on their hands and knees. The images are powerful and demonstrated how inaccessible architecture impacts the lives of people with disabilities since there wasn't a way for them to enter the "People's House." It also highlighted the urgency behind the need to pass the ADA, which President George H.W. Bush signed into law on July 26, 1990. “The history of the Americans with Disabilities Act did not begin on July 26, 1990 at the signing ceremony at the White House. It did not begin in 1988 when the first ADA was introduced in Congress. The ADA story began a long time ago in cities and towns throughout the United States when people with disabilities began to challenge societal barriers that excluded them from their communities, and when parents of children with disabilities began to fight against the exclusion and segregation of their children.” - The History of the Americans with Disabilities Act: A Movement Perspective by Arlene Mayerson, 1992 So what is Section 504 and what does it do? Section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act established the civil rights of individuals with disabilities, safeguarding them from discrimination and guaranteeing their equal access to education, employment, healthcare, and public services. About 8.5 million public school students in the U.S. have a 504 Plan to ensure they receive a free and appropriate education. These plans assist students who might not be eligible for an Individualized Education Program (IEP) but still require support to fully engage in school activities. One of my own children benefits from having a 504 plan in place for him at his public middle school. He has dysgraphia and nearly illegible handwriting. His accommodations include the option to type all of his work, a small accommodation that makes a huge difference in the quality of his writing, his confidence and overall achievement. Removing his 504 accommodations would significantly affect his grades, self-esteem and performance at school. Why would the government want to take this away from him and 8.5 million other students? Why the controversy? The crux of the complaint is that the Biden Administration finalized a new rule in 2024 that included gender dysphoria under Section 504 and the Americans with Disabilities Act. While the discussion of gender dysphoria was in the preamble to the rule , the updated rule has no mention of gender dysphoria. This lawsuit has significant implications and threatens the entirety of 504. Should the court restrict the definition of a disability under Section 504, it may establish a precedent that makes it more difficult for students to qualify for 504 plans. This lawsuit against the federal government seeks to have Section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act declared unconstitutional, essentially attempting to eliminate protections against disability discrimination for individuals in federally funded programs . Gender dysphoria? "Gender dysphoria (previously gender identity disorder), according to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, is defined as a “marked incongruence between their experienced or expressed gender and the one they were assigned at birth.” Individuals facing this turmoil may struggle to align their gender expression with the conventional, rigid societal binary of male or female roles, potentially leading to cultural stigmatization. This can make relationships with family, peers, and friends difficult and result in rejection from society, symptoms of depression and anxiety, substance use disorders, a negative sense of well-being and poor self-esteem, and an increased risk of self-harm and suicidality. Authors Garima Garg; Ghada Elshimy; Raman Marwaha. We are worried about what eliminating these protections could mean for people with disabilities, their education and employment opportunities as well as quality of life. How will this affect families, caregivers, teachers and schools? I'm afraid of what is happening in front of our eyes, the rapid dismantling educational civil rights and human rights. Cool video: Empowerment in Action: Disability Activists Ascend the Capitol Steps Th is video documents an event sponsored by ADAPT that took place on the steps of the United States Capitol building in Washington, D.C. ADAPT has a solid presence here in Austin thanks to Bob Kafka, a disability activist for over 40 years and local resident who can be seen in this video .