Thoughts on the trial of Lindsey Clancy
Updated: Aug 25
I’m putting myself out there and being vulnerable with this post. We need to talk about postpartum depression. It’s very common, affecting 1 in every 7 women and it’s highly treatable. So why do we feel shame? Why is there still a stigma surrounding it? Everyone needs to understand what postpartum depression is and what it is not. Perhaps with clarity there will be an openness and willingness to learn more and discuss symptoms with others.
8.24.26
Some friends came to visit recently and one of them mentioned that she has been following the Lindsey Clancy trial closely. We were on a sunset stroll at the Garden of the Gods and were interrupted by a hungry mule deer and her twin fawns who had wandered onto the trail in front of us. Of course we had to pause and admire all the cuteness happening right in front of us at that moment before moving on and chatting about the next topic. I can’t explain why the story and current trial of Lindsey Clancy was not on my radar since it had been much in the news, but it wasn’t and I made a mental note to look it up later that night. I searched for a podcast that started from the very beginning and had commentary and background from a knowledgeable, unbiased host(s). After some research (Reddit) I selected Hidden True Crime, a podcast hosted by Dr. John Matthias, a criminal psychologist, and his wife Lauren Matthias, an investigative journalist. It was exactly what I was looking for and I started from the beginning, the July 25, 2026 episode.
Once I started listening I couldn’t stop.
I recalled the Andrea Yates story. Being from Houston it was everywhere in the news in the early 2000’s. I was newly married, in my twenties and going through fertility struggles myself at the time of her first trial. I can remember seeing a photo of her four stairstep boys standing in a line all with the same haircut and looking just alike. Then she finally had her little girl and the family photo of the seven of them posing and smiling was the one I remember seeing most often in the media. How could she? I would soon discover that I had judged Andrea Yates too quickly.
Shortly after she was convicted and sent to prison I had my first son. He was born full-term, healthy and huge at 9 pounds and 21 inches long. We all came home together and to the vintage cowboy decorated nursery we had lovingly created for him. Everything was perfect and we were over the moon. Except it wasn’t.
At first I was resentful that my husband got to go to the office everyday. I was sure that being a new mom (especially the first time) was certainly harder and more work than anything he was doing at the office. I’d also had a cesarean delivery and recovery wasn’t swift. Gradually that resentment turned into a different emotion, sadness. I loved my son and being a mom but it felt like I wasn’t myself anymore. Things that once had given me joy no longer did. I felt like I was the only person who could take proper care of him and put immense pressure on myself to do everything right. He had to have breast milk, the gold standard, so I hooked myself up to a pump 5-6 times a day to be milked like a cow at a dairy farm so he could have it. Even at night. He ate so much and so often that I couldn’t produce enough milk to keep up with demand. I would fall asleep pumping and wake up in pain. I got mastitis all the time since pumping isn’t as effective at emptying the breast as a baby’s mouth. If I missed a pump and my breasts became engorged it was also painful so I couldn’t let myself fall asleep for too long at a time. I had to take my pump with me wherever we went so I could keep pumping on schedule in order to keep my supply up. I got a battery pack so I could even pump in the car while driving. I was miserable but my baby was never going to have formula because all the research said that “breast was best” and by God my baby would have the best.
It was exhausting.
I wasn’t sleeping.
I wasn’t eating enough.
My hormones were all over the place.
I needed my mom and would cry when I thought about her absence and what a good grandma she would have been.
Leaving the house became too much of a bother.
My house was a mess.
I didn’t care about my own appearance, but my handsome baby boy was always clean, smelling good and wearing coordinated cute outfits every day. I did enjoy doting on him.
I was a shadow of myself and no matter how hard I tried I couldn’t snap out of it and get back to normal.
Around the 5th - 6th week postpartum, my husband, who had always been helpful, supportive and kind through my struggles as a new mom, expressed that he was worried about me. He could see I was not getting better with time. He encouraged me to start formula feeding so I could sleep again but I insisted it hadn’t been enough time yet and that our son needed at least 3 months of breast milk exclusively to get the immunity benefits he needed. He suggested talking to my ob/gyn and went with me to the appointment. The ob/gyn was concerned enough to send me to see a specialist. I drove myself to the appointment while he stayed home with the baby.
Today I googled the specialist I saw 20+ years ago. The first entry, an AI summary, read "Dr. ___is a prominent American psychiatrist in Houston, Texas, specializing in women's reproductive mental health, pregnancy loss, and postpartum depression.” Yep, that was her and I’m happy to see that she’s still working in the same field, and kind of a big deal, too.
She was also an expert witness for the defense in the Andrea Yates retrial—the one where she was found not guilty by reason of insanity and sent to a hospital instead of a prison. The retrial took place two years after I had seen Dr.___ for what she would eventually diagnose me with— postpartum depression. At the time I did not know how common the condition is because it was so rarely discussed. I felt deep shame about it, telling only my husband because I thought if people knew they would think that I'm a bad mom. Postpartum depression affects about 15% of women and is very treatable. The sadness and anxiety usually get better with therapy and sometimes medicine.
Postpartum psychosis is a much more serious condition that occurs way less frequently. Both Andrea Yates and Lindsey Clancy were diagnosed with postpartum psychosis among other mental health disorders.
Something to know about postpartum depression is that if you had it once, chances are that you will have it again. It can also become worse with each subsequent pregnancy as was the case for me. It is not something that mothers can control and it’s nothing to feel shame about. It’s mother nature and some of us are more predisposed than others. Look for signs and seek help from a doctor when needed. Let your partner know what the symptoms are, too. It’s treatable, temporary and you will get better.
I have been listening carefully to the trial of Lindsey Clancy for the last five days. Sometimes I replay testimony to be sure I understand and that I didn’t miss anything.
There is no disputing that she killed her three children. It would be easy to say “She did it, she’s faking the psychiatric stuff, she’s guilty so just put her in prison and throw away the key.” It’s much harder to try and understand psychosis, chemicals in the brain, how hormones and medications affect the brain, the physical effects of trauma on the brain and brain chemistry, conditions like schizophrenia and bipolar disorder and so many other factors that affect logic, reasoning, impulsivity, aggression and other behaviors.
My brother had a brain tumor that went undetected for some time. The pressure of the growing tumor on his frontal lobe caused him to act out aggressively and do impulsive, dangerous things such as pull a knife out on someone who had cut him off on the road. He ended up getting arrested for that incident and we could not understand what was going on with him, because it wasn’t him. He wasn’t in control of his thoughts and he had virtually no impulse control. That wasn’t my brother. We knew something was very wrong and convinced him to see a doctor which ultimately led to his cancer diagnosis at just 34 years-old. The frontal lobe manages thinking, judgement, personality, self-control, muscle control and movements, memory and is a key area for mental health. There was a medical reason that explained his unpredictable and violent behavior, just as there was for Lindsey Clancy. Her medical condition is not something visible in an x-ray, seen in an EEG or found in a lab test but it is just as real.
Maybe it’s because I know what it’s like to have reoccurring postpartum depression.
Maybe it’s because I was prescribed some of the same medications as Lindsey Clancy was and understand how hard it is to find the one that works while dealing with side effects that can be debilitating.
Maybe it’s because I watched my brother transform into another person as his mental health deteriorated due to physical and chemical changes happening in his brain.
I believe her.
I see a woman who knew something was wrong. A mother who loved her children and her family and tried to get the help she knew she needed. A woman who faced the barriers of ineptitude, inadequacy and professional negligence at every turn. I see a woman who was desperate and begging for help and who was utterly failed by health providers and institutions she trusted. I cannot blame Lindsey Clancy for the tragic deaths of her children. She was sick and experiencing psychosis. She was having intrusive thoughts and hearing voices. She was suicidal. She was honest about what she was feeling and asked for help over and over again.
You know who I do blame? The providers and institutions who did not listen or take her seriously. The ones who kept prescribing medications without being attentive to her symptoms or even bothering to communicate with one another. The ones who thought it was okay to have fifteen minute Zoom calls with her despite the seriousness of her symptoms. They are the ones who have blood on their incompetent hands.
I don’t find her husband Patrick blameless either.
Science tells us much more today than when Andrea Yates went on trial in 2002. When I listen to the prosecutors and their lines of questioning--and even to some of the professionals who were interviewed on the stand-- it feels as though very little has actually changed regarding the understanding of women's mental health/women's reproductive mental health over the last 24 years. At least 1 in 7 of us do get it. We recognize some of those sad and anxious feelings and that postpartum depression is very real. It is treatable and should be treated.
The prosecution is seeking justice for the children and a sentence of life in prison without parole for Lindsey Clancy.
The trial is ongoing.
Interested in listening to the podcast? Start here:
